Trauma quotes free#

~ Gabor Mate.Īddictions always originate in pain, whether felt openly or hidden in the unconscious. The best attitude to adopt is one of compassionate patience, which has to include a tolerance for failure.

We need less guilt and more awareness of how the quality of the parent-child relationship can be used to promote our children’s emotional and cognitive development. ~ Gabor Mate.Īs parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than we already do. It resembles passion in its urgency and in the promise of fulfillment, but its gifts are illusory. ~ Gabor Mate.Īddiction is passion’s dark simulacrum and, to the naïve observer, its perfect mimic. Intensely held beliefs may be no more than a person’s unconscious effort to build a sense of self to fill what, underneath, is experienced as a vacuum. Strong convictions do not necessarily signal a powerful sense of self: very often quite the opposite.

Trauma quotes free#

By noticing their own responses to the child, rather than fixating on the child’s responses to them, they free up tremendous energy for growth. Parents who realize this acquire a powerful tool. We think that children act, whereas what they mostly do is react. Much of what we call personality is not a fixed set of traits, only coping mechanisms a person acquired in childhood. Conversely, shorn of a spiritual perspective we are prone to stay stuck in the limited realm of the grasping ego, even if it’s a healthier and more balanced ego. Without psychological strength, spiritual practice can easily become another addictive distraction from reality. Spiritual work and psychological work are both necessary to reclaim our true nature. Sensitive children come to be called difficult because adults have trouble understanding their temperament and because parenting methods that work with other children are frustratingly inadequate with this group. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs our ability to see reality. Shame is the deepest of the negative emotions, a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid.

Isolation and stress affect many who may believe their lives are quite satisfactory. Many of us live, if not alone, then in emotionally inadequate relationships that do not recognize or honour our deepest needs. I needed to write, to express myself through written language not only so that others might hear me but so that I could hear myself. nurture argument, only an infinitely complex and moment-by-moment interaction between genetic and environmental effects.